It's the big reveal day! I had a blast this month joining the foodie pen pal group! What a fun thing to both send and receive yummy stuff in the mail!

My "foodie pal" Rachel sent me tons of yummy stuff! My kids danced around like it was Christmas when they saw the apple butter! We had waffles one cooler morning topped with it and it was delightful!

Other treats included granola bars (those I tucked into my purse to take to work for a mid-day snack!) and a lovely assortment of tea!

Fresh granola from a farmers market! Crackers that clearly my husband LOVED (because I got all of ONE! He sure didn't share well with others! humph!)
It really was such a delight! What fun! I highly recommend you join up! What a great way to meet, bless and be blessed by new people!!!
Many Many thanks to Rachel Gergely! While you're here - zip over to THE LEAN GREEN BEAN and check out all the other goodie boxes that people received!

It's that time of year again..............it's a super fast slide right into the Holidays........
I always get to this time of the year and the war begins.
The war between who I am and who I feel I should be.
Maybe even "who I wish I was" joins in a bit...
This...I can tell you... causes many sleepless nights.
Many very tired mornings.
Maybe it's because my memory is so/so...but with MAJOR events like Holidays - I have linked memories of the kids....the home....the traditions...
I feel like I am running in 100 different directions at once - and yet I feel soooo guilty for not adding to it. There are SOOOO many things I'm just NOT accomplishing and really should be.
Yet I don't even know how to accomplish what i am already "signed up for".
I woke this morning with the feeling that you just can't plan ahead.
I KNOW where this feeling is rooted.....
we were supposed to go to a great aunt's 100th birthday party this Saturday.....
she died yesterday.
My first reaction was "why would they plan a 100th birthday party MONTHS in advance....why didn't they celebrate RIGHT AWAY?" Life's too short (even at 99.9 years old!) why didn't we just have a party for her at 99?

The time to hug is now.
The time to love is now.
The time for dinners and laughter and family time and holding hands and good times is NOW.
Because really - who knows where we'll be tomorrow?

How bout you? do you have a war going on? maybe just a small conflict?

I'd love to hear about it!

~with all my heart~
Michelle

stories...

I remember as a child - hearing the story of how the people - when Moses went up on the mountain - how they almost immediately FORGOT the goodness and provision of God. And I was amazed at how quickly they forgot. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I remember hearing the story of Mana...and how the people had NO doubt that it was from God...but soon grew tired of the blessing...and wanted MORE.MORE.MORE. And I was amazed at how quickly they grew selfish. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I remember hearing story after story about how pride, selfishness, anger, etc... can cause SO much damage. And I remember thinking I "GOT IT" when the story ended. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ But now..... As a mother. As a wife. As a woman. As an adult. I know in my heart and in my life - How quickly I can forget the blessings. How quickly I can grow selfish/angry/prideful/forgetful/demanding.......wanting MORE. Today my prayer is that I remember to STOP and give thanks. NO matter how things are. NO matter how finances are. NO matter what my kids are up to. NO matter what life brings.... Because GOD is still working - He doesn't have the "blessing amnesia" that I often have. He is still LOVING. He is still working all things for good. Some days.... I just need to step back and look for the mana :)

Happy Fall Y'all! :)

Well - We live WAY down south - and we really don't get much in the way of weather changes. So I have to live vicariously through many other "blog friends" posts - those wonderful colorful leaves....the recipes for hot soups, chowders and stews....the mention of crisp mornings and warm jackets leaves me longing for a change of season. Down here we have summer with a bit of cooler weather. Thats it! I will tell you that I am making more and more crock pot meals. and I'm introverting a bit more. I feel like I'm pulling those near and dear to me - a bit closer.... I am at that point where I am focusing more and more on family events (perhaps it's the holidays coming up that makes me do that) And I am focusing less and less on all the other "noise" that often interferes with the peace. I sooooo want to hear what you're doing - the little things that truly tell you it's autumn (even if the weather outside isn't telling you anything yet ;) As always - I love to see comments :) It lets me know someone out there is still reading :) Happy Fall Y'all! With all my heart~ Michelle

I gave this as my 10th ToastMasters speech last night. I heard a lot of people laughing - thinking I must be exagerating. Sadly - I was not. I'm confident that a lot of you out there can relate.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I became somewhat obsessed a year or so ago with....Finding Ideal "One wife/mother’s journey to live the ideal life" The basis for my obsession goal...was this….. If I set up the "habit" of living the ideal lifestyle - striving for the “ideal” life - what would happen? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So I set out to review: A. What do I think the ideal mother/wife does? (acts, accomplishes) B. What do others think the ideal m/w does? C. What does my family think the ideal m/w would be like? D. How to incorporate my ideals and my family’s Ideals together to become...well...IDEAL ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It all "SIMPLY" boiled down to this -My Theory of Ideal - Super early riser 5am would be best. Wake up happy—relaxed—no need to rush! Have personal time *devotions, learn a foreign language—with Rosetta Stone, spend some time Singing, and practice my Writing each day without fail.* Be a Runner or Gym member have a goal to run a 1/2 marathon before I’m just too old. Prepare Breakfast for the family (even if night before) Be Prepared for the day (Clothes, shoes, accessories etc.) Spend one on one time with each child (even if each child is scheduled a day a week for QUALITY time) Know exactly what the day should hold by way of schedules, menus, events & extras. Run a load of laundry at the start of each morning and map out the day for when I am not there. “List” 1 item each day (ebay, amazon, craigslist) for “family cash” Set goals (budgets) for things important to the family and individually. *Vehicle * Vacation etc. Do something to improve myself each week - set personal goals. Make sure to schedule personal growth. Each evening set out clothing & shoes for the next day (accessories) pack the diaper bag! Pre-Set the table for Breakfast (as breakfast should be promptly at 6am) Pre-make lunches for the next day Intentionally design time for: Date night Grocery Shopping what I like to call“Business Baseball” (making sure all the bases are covered with the family business) Set aside time and money to work on physical maintenance aspects including hair, makeup, nails Have “command station” set up and fully functional. This would be a set area of the house where each child’s individual schedule and “stuff” is neatly kept. Each week go through an area of the home and “bless” someone else with the “extra stuff” allowing the home to become lower maintenance and stress free. Set aside money and ideas on home up-keep. Have a running list or notebook of items needing attention, and systematically work on them. Have a schedule of set appointments for my children - Health dental or eye exams as provided by insurance. KNOW my insurance benefits. Have time set in stone to spend with friends and family. Be very conscious of what I eat and drink. Keep records to maintain weight goals. Take bi-weekly photos and measurements along with weigh-ins. Prepare meal plans according to coupon supplies and provide extras stored up by shopping fabulous deals. Maintain a 6 month stock supply incase of emergency situation. Be totally crafty, making things from scratch whenever possible. Spend time volunteering—making sure that our legacy goes beyond our borders—helping others. Assist with the family business. Do all billing, payroll, accounting, proposals, banking and fire fighting (as anyone who has had a business knows...a substansial amount of time is spent on putting out fires. Have a career. Maintains a secure income—provides insurance—Life, health, dental & vision. Along with a steady check weekly or bi-weekly. Hostesses. Throw parties—dinner, birthday, holidays too. Homeschool our children—preparing curriculum, keeping records, encouraging our children to reach and grow. When un available for homeschooling—schedule time in each child’s classroom/school to maintain a presence in their education. Have all holiday shopping done well in advance. Find just that perfect something for each family member or friend. Have all items wrapped (preferably with home-made wrap and bows) packaged and mailed ON TIME. Send out holiday cards—not just Christmas mind you—oh no—Halloween—Thanksgiving—Easter—Valentines day and oh so many others! Not only for the family but also for the business! Have pen-pals that I write to weekly. Maintaining friendships long-distance. Maintain a blog with at least 1 post a week. More if possible. This was just the beginning of my list. The very tip of the iceberg if you will—and I began to feel more and more like the titanic. I actually began to comment to people about how I was failing miserably at so many things in my life—I just wasn’t sure I was surviving. The way I made myself a little more miserable was to go on pinterest—and see all the other fabulous things I should be doing/cooking/cleaning/organizing/crafting/wearing. I’ll be totally honest with you—I never asked anyone else their version of Ideal—I couldn’t imagine living up to my OWN expectations—I just couldn’t bring myself to add anyone elses! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I realized it was time to stop. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How many years had I allowed these many many “ideals” control my life? This was really the first time I had written them down (and trust me—this is not the entire list!!) For how long had I fought depression and the feeling that I was just not good enough—just because I had made up all these rules for myself!!?? I had all these rules that I was failing at—and no one was enforcing them but me! What was the bottom line? What truly mattered? If I found out tomorrow that I only had a short time left in my life….. What “ideals” then would I be concerned with? These: Did I spend enough time loving my kids and husband? Did I show love to the people I came in contact with? Did I show them respect—no matter who they were or what their situation was? Did I let my kids know that life is sooooooo much more than never living up to unrealistic expectations?! Would my kids remember me laughing/singing/playing with them instead of always being just too busy? So— I challenge you to find your ideals—I don’t encourage you to make a list 10 pages long. I challenge you to look inside your self— deep in your heart and think on what TRULY matters.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Then and only then—you will have found your ideal!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * I'm sorry it all ran together like that - I haven't figured out how to leave spaces - even though I typed it up with spaces - they don't transfer over when I actually post. Hmmmmm...something to ponder :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ May you be totally blessed. ~ Much love ~ With all my heart Michelle

A letter from mom.

this is a letter I wrote today to my oldest son. Please keep us in your prayers! M Well – Where do I begin? Your brother has recently gotten into some trouble. You'd think he would have learned first hand to say far far away from trouble. I wish you were here to talk to him. I love you. He needs someone out here who can tell him first hand that this is not the road he wants to travel down. He needs someone to be honest and say “I’ve been there and it sucks” All I can hope for him is that this is the worlds greatest wake up call ever. EVER. We’re all shell shocked feeling. The little boys are teary-eyed as are we. They don’t understand. Hell, we don’t understand to be honest. It’s like having a reoccurring bad dream. It’s so hard to love someone as much as our kids – and see them making their life so hard. We want MORE for our kids. We want sunshine and happiness and merry-go-rounds. Not dark grimy parts to their life story. I know it’s what makes us truly who we are – the tough times we survive. But parents ache as much if not more. Guess it’s just the other side to that coin of getting all those hugs and kisses from sweet babies. You get all full on smiles and giggles – and then you have to keep that in the front of you minds when you are watching them do difficult things. When they are making their mistakes and learning things the hard way. The hard way sucks. It’s not that we want to keep you from having fun – it’s that we know that although you are free to make your own choices – you still have to live with the consiquences of those choices. It’s excrutiating to love someone so much. To have held their hand while they learned to walk, cheered them on when they rode bikes (or God forbid jumped off shed roofs into apple trees)…..sat up nights praying their fever would come down when they were sick…fed them the best you could….loved them always….and watch them hurt themselves. I guess it’s a part of growing up – of learning who you are – but believe me – it’s no easier on the parent! After years of trying to keep someone safe, it’s so very hard to let them go. Hoping and praying that it’s all going to be Okay. Hoping and praying. And loving them. ~ALWAYS~

Pre-school

Well my 2 year old started pre-school today. I haven't gotten any phone calls so I guess that's good?! He was so much better at letting go than I was. He was immediately impressed by the classroom and a little boy who clearly wanted to be his friend. sniff! I wish I could be more places at once. I AM working on a plan to be able to be back home some day (hopefully soon) but until then - I have to pray alot and keep busy so the time passes quickly and I get to go pick him up :) Maybe he's just toooooo sporty :) Can't wait for 5 oclock! This being a mama stuff is NOT easy! :) Thanks for listening ;) Thanks for praying!

Seasons & decisions

Do you ever feel lost? I'm sure someone out there does.... That's kinda where I am right now. I wish I had someone to talk to.. Do you have days where you think...I'm wasting my life?! - not wasting on family but wasting at a 40hr work week? Do you worry that you were meant for bigger things...and then worry that you WERENT meant for bigger things? Do you have too many things going on - and yet still think about all the "shoulda woulda coulda" things that are falling by the wayside? I don't know if anyone is still out there reading this blog anymore - it's just kinda like therapy to type it all out. Our family babysitter has decided to take the summer off. I know this is not LIFE OR DEATH. but it's a bit of a tailspin for our gang... The only option I've come up with in 3 weeks of searching is daycare. I get sick at the thought of day care. sick. I know that anytime my kiddos have ever been in daycare they've had fun. They've played and made little friends - but yet I still cringe at the time I feel LOST holding and cuddling and teaching and loving......:( I don't judge ANYONE by whether they love or hate daycare. I know that each family has a different situation - a different season that they are in. :( This is the season we are in. I just feel a little broken. a little teary. and like each and every day of my life... I hope I'm making GOOD MAMA decisions. That those are the ones that will be remembered. Not all the LOUSY ones I KNOW I've made ;(

THE GOOFY PICTURE!

I don't have a lot of "THE OTHER PICTURES" on my computer at work - I LOVE the link up and I'll now start looking for those pictures that don't make the cut - but this one was one we all laughed over like crazy - The boys had all gotten candy that had "bling" gold teeth on the front of it and they were all acting like they were tough with their arms crossed and heads bobbing - when Snap got one and looked like this: We howled. Kinda looks like he should be saying DURRRRRR!

Linking up HERE with Lynette Kraft! Make sure to check her blog out! You won't be disappointed :) Happy Friday gang! SMILE LOTS!!! With all my heart~ Michelle

Useless yet fascinating(?) facts all about me :)

I bet you didn't know that I have one of these annoying animals peck at my office door for HOURS at a time! It's mirrored and the males like to fight with each other! Dumb Dumb I mean...lovely animals!!................................................................................................................................... I finally printed out this picture and hung it there to deter him! Now he stands off a bit and YEOLPS real loud - like he'd LIKE to fight...but he's just not sure (they are my least favorite animal! lol) But because I have the picture out there - people like to bring me peacock feathers! (they think I LOVE them...lol...I can't bring myself to tell them I had a running joke with the other employees in our office that if I didn't get a good Thanksgiving turkey last year...I'd just get a Thanksgiving Peacock!) So I arrive each morning and have a good chuckle to myself as I look at a whole vase full of peacock feathers - given in love - hope they never see me out grumbling at the birds in the parkinglot! :)..........................................................................................................................................

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................... this is NOT my picture - it's beautiful though huh? It's more like where we are moving to than where we live now! The "new" house (small mobile home actually) you can stand at the front of it and see the ocean - so that's somthing huh?! :) We're looking forward to actually enjoying where we live....since we live in a vacation spot - and can hardly ever vacation ourselves! :) .............................................................................................................................................................................................................

............................................................................................................................................................................................ I am actually starting one of these! ........................................................................................................................................... I've gone so far as to get the gutters and the dirt! As we get moved in...I will start working on this too - and let you know how it goes! :).............................................................................................. My yard has the following (and I am SOOOOO excited about it!) Banana Trees.............. Papaya Trees............... Plantain Trees................ Barbados Cherries.................. Pomegranates.................. Chaya (Mexican Spinach)................. Pineapples................... Key Lime tree.................... Coffee trees.................. Cinnamon tree..................... Guava Tree................... Coconut palm..................... Star-fruit tree......................................... stevia :) looks like a weed really - and takes over a planter area like one too! (0bviously I'm not into plants for looks! If they don't give me something I can use...I'll switch em out for something that does!) ............................................................................... I also had a couple tea plants - but they didn't make the move :( little dead sticks in the ground ;( Will have to replace those someday soon. ......................................................................... anyways....someday I'll be able to make a killer fruit salad huh?! :) maybe with a little cinnamon coffee on the side? lol -we'll see!

Directions Directions!

Do you ever sit back and think...WOW I am going in too many directions?!?
I sure do!
I mean....I blog (occasionally at best... I know)
I am packing...
we host an organic co-op every other week and box up "shares" of produce for others...
we have 2 boys in little league right now - which means practice 3 days a week (in different locations) and games at least once a week (usually taking up all day Saturday...in different locations also!)
We have a family business..
I go to ToastMasters..
We have a toddler - that in itself is beyond full time work :)
I LOVE to sing - so I do that whenever I get the chance...
Along with all this...i try to list things on ebay and craigslist when i can...
i work a full time 40 hour week outside the home....
and then I heap trouble on myself by looking at pinterest and WISHING I could do like a billion craft ideas ;) lol
I KNOW I don't have more commitments than others...you're probably thinking right now "THAT'S IT?" - but shoot...we're all going in 1000 different directions these days right?!?!
So...back to my original question -
Do you ever sit back and think...WOW I am going in too many directions?!?
I sure do!
:)
Michelle

new nerves

a case of nerves.
that woozy stomach feeling,
yet no fear.
no heart pounding pit of my stomach hurts feeling.
but..some excitement!
oh and some overwhelm.
you see....tomorrow starts a new beginning.
6 days in a row of used "vacation time" to box, label, haul, lug, unpack or simply store until "later".
downsizing is gonna = super closeness for us.
super
close (did i mention down sizing? mini mini micro mini?)
So...today I have that
super
wild-scary-quantum leap "gonna jump" kind of feeling.
but I'm looking ahead at new horizions.
and looking out at horizions usually gives me a mildly sea-sick queezy feeling..
but now we get to dream much
bigger dreams..
all because we're willing to...for now...go to a
much smaller space.
It's really
pro-active.
I've
just.. gotta.. make it.. through.. today.
tomorrow is a brand new day!
a brand new life really.
brand new.
but for now...its kinda
a case of nerves.


linking up with Just Write! Over at the EO!

letting go.

you'll have to excuse these "mama" tears.
I know it's just another "thing"
Our computer decided to start acting up.
Yes it was old.
Yes we've had it almost 6 years.
Yes it had all the videos of the welcoming of Malachi. birth video. newborn baby stuff.
Yes it had 6 years of pictures.
Yes it had many many many things such as all of my flip videos of the kids over the last couple years.
yes it froze up
yes it died.
no it can't be saved.
no they can't retrieve it.
no.
oh no.
:*(
it's gonna take me awhile to get over it.
a
very
long
while
to let it go.

crying and linking up at Just Write

Bless it forward....

Some time ago - I decided to set aside a little extra money each pay check (not tithe money...not emergency money...)and yes it was a VERY little....but I thought - one thing that makes me truly happy - is that feeling that i've somehow made someone ELSE happy!
LIFE CAN BE SO VERY DAILY....ya know?!

That whole "pay it forward" type of thing... I've always wanted to tell some struggling mom in line at the grocery store...you know the one...scraping quarters from her purse to pick up that gallon of milk or dozen eggs..."Hey..I've got this one covered!" and just pick up the tab.
Why? Because I've been there!

Or hand some newly-wed looking couple a roll of quarters at the laundry mat - why? because I've been there!

I'd like to be the lady who leaves a BIG tip for a cheap cup of coffee - knowing that the waitress is just barely surviving - why? yeah..you know the answer!

But I realized that unless I intentionally set aside a couple extra dollars with that very intention....I'll never get to do it!

So - today I zipped over to ebay and got a little thing to send to a "friend" whom I've never met...only by blog...
It's nothing huge. but you'd think it was Christmas for me. lol I am so excited that she's gonna get a little package for her new house. and i pray that her family is blessed by it!! HOW FUN!!! :)

so...
maybe my "snapoutofit" challenge is simply going to be...to live more INTENTIONALLY.
Intentionally save money.
Intentionally give money.
time.
love.
& even just smiles.
INTENTIONALLY!
I'm gonna intentionally snapoutofit! :)

How about you? What do you want to intentionally do?

"The Snapoutofit!Challenge"

Okay - so surprise surprise we survived the financial crisis of last post. sigh.
I KNOW at the time we'll survive...but you all know what it feels like when you're THERE.
dark.and.lonely!
Often, motivational speakers will ask - what can you do about this? and if you ever say "nothing" they're TRAINED to say "well what if you could?"
Suddenly you have unleashed the brain the Good Lord gave you to start figuring out HOW you can make something better.
Do you know what I've decided?
I have many many items around my home that I can sell for as low as a dollar (and make someone very happy) and still bring income into our family savings account.
BOOKS especially.
Things I am not using currently - cloth diapers - baby clothes - etc.etc.etc.etc.
Home school stuff that I haven't used in years - but for some reason...I hold onto it.
BOOKS (did I mention BOOKS?) lol
So I have decided to set a goal of listing at least 10 things a week either on craigslist or Ebay.
I have things I've picked up along the way (a fabulous hat in a hat box) (a drum set) with the thoughts of re-selling it.
and there they sat in storage.
sigh.
well NO more!
As Cher said in the movie Moonstruck
"Snapoutofit!" :)
So - I'll keep you all updated - I'm gonna try to figure out how to keep a running total of the $ made right up until December over on the side of the page.....hmmmmmm.....
Blessings and love to you all!
With all my heart
Michelle

spinning

linking up with JUST WRITE

two steps forward and three steps backwards.

i started the day out with the "surprise" of an automated insurance payment that caused eleven (YES 11) things to bounce in my account. The bounce fees alone cripple me...there's not a thing i can do about it. the idea that it has hurt my family kills me. and yet there's still nothing i can do about it. but survive and learn.
try to sell a couple things that i hoped would be extra income...some longed for items for the kids - not bank fees.
Oh trust me this is a lesson i have learned too many times and i have worked hard HARD at not making this mistake with finances - and it has been a long LONG time since i made it last.....
but here we are.
again.
of course this comes at a time when i have declared "I'm gonna do it all right" get up earlier - eat healthier - do "better" than just survive.
and somehow..things like this fly in and knock the wind from my lungs. make me want to crawl back into bed. make me want to quit.
just makes me feel like i'm on a hamster wheel - and it's all just

two steps forward and three steps back.

Cha cha cha changes....

Each day is filled with many changes.
I am so very pleased to say that it seems we have begun to figure out the health issues with hubby.
He had a car accident in 2000 and it left two bones in his neck cracked - they always check on those - but what they hadn't noticed was the one above the damaged two was at a SUPER weird angle and was pinching his spinal nerves!And his "head was out of whack ...lol I'm gonna let that one pass...:)(aren't you proud of me?)
Thank you Dr.Accurso III of Miami (WOO HOO...give it up for Chiropractic care!!)

So - it is a trip (1.5 hours each way) three times a week for now - but seriously - WHATEVER makes D feel better - it's worth it! and let me tell you - This is the Chiropractor who made the last few months of my pregnancy with Malachi SOOOOO much better - My back was SUPER DUPER in MAJOR PAIN! - If it weren't for those adjustments I may have just cried my way to 42 weeks!
So - YES I am promo-ing their office! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!! GO NOW! :)lol

Anyways...
Along with the re-alignments we have begun eating healthier yet. (It's always hard to explain to people - that just cause we're bigger (heavy) doesn't mean we don't know a LOT about nutrition - we just haven't found the time to add a lot of exercise to all the healthy food :)and I can't even begin to tell you how much exercise D gets each day anyways - so I always kinda feel guilty asking him to take a walk with me when he finally gets home! I'm the one who sits at a desk all day...in a/c...Thank you God! :)

So - we're not only trying to eat more organic (mostly the dirty dozen) but we're also drinking a super healthy shake mix in the mornings (lots of organic greens...yoguart..a few berries) Boosting our omegas (healty fats!!!) and taking extra vitamins.
What I notice with approaching our days this way is that I feel better at the end of the day and can imagine fitting in a bit of walking or stair stepping!
Otherwise if I'm starving when I get home - grab something quick and easy - I'm just ready for bed then!! (and of course it never happens that way!...laundry...meals...lunches...etc..etc...etc...)
I'm honestly doing this this time NOT as a diet. I just want to feel better - and I'm betting that I look better eventually too.


OKAY onward and upward...........
We are busy busy busy lately! Working on a big transition in our family - we bought a travel trailer and it needed some (A LOT) of work. So every spare moment (lol...spare moment?! What is that?!)we've been working on it!

Then....a few days ago I went to a conference and was honored to see
Steve Forbs
Laura Bush
Gen. Colin Powell
John Walsh
James Smith
along with a few others (Dan Marino was there - but I left a bit early so I could be at the doctors appt with hubs :)
It was an amazing event...yes the event tried to sell you a couple things - but it was NOT high pressure - if you didn't want it ..you simply didn't buy it!
Just the opportunity to be able to hear in person what these influential people had to say - and what amazed me the most?
It was billed as a "business motivation seminar" but WOW was it "GOD AND COUNTRY"
Everyone unashamedly spoke of their faith!
They even had an alter call!
I was amazed and it really gave my heart hope! :)

So....that's my Friday Fabulous update..:)
I pray that each of you has an unbelievably wonderful weekend!
I am going to enjoy it with my family - especially my Hubby who is more and more his 'ol self each day :)

Blessing to you my friends!
~With all my heart~
Michelle

Hello again :)

I know much time has passed. We are still dealing with MANY heart health issues for hubs. Today we are going to a chiropractic specialist - with the hope that he can help.
It makes for long nights and longer days when the heart rate is irratic (sp?) and over 140!
Then the blood pressure drops, he gets dizzy, he loses hearing in one ear and gets the shakes.
We have tried so many avenues - Please keep us in your prayers!
On top of all that - we are in the middle of HUGE life changes - more on that later. The kiddos are all doing well - and our older kids have stepped up and are at least behaving well at this time :)
Thank you God!!
I wish I had something more to post.
I will keep you updated.
Thanks for the care and the prayer :)
Can you imagine how our life would be without it?
Oy!

With all my heart~
Michelle

if wishes were fishes we'd eat well tonight

Lol - the title doesn't have much to do with the post - it's just something my grandma used to say and when I sat down to type this post - I thought...
"I wish I had something really valuable to say" and yep...that line popped right into my head :)
I fell off the atkins wagon when hubs was in the hospital icu and i'm finding it impossible to get back at it. I'm so tired that it just feels like TONS of extra work.
Then i feel worse because seriously? I HAVE to get into better shape! (less pumpkin shape more carrot?) lol
I excitedly look at each of the new posts on my "dashboard" every day and then realize...I'm upset when I don't see new posts from some of my faves...I actually feel like I "MISS" them when they're gone...and yet I'm the WORST at posting regularly!
Should I do a recipe post? A photo post? An "update" post(those seem boring even to me!)Crafting? Cause...I LOVE all of those from other people - i just don't seem to have found my "niche" yet.
I feel like a fraud if I post things "religious" or "homeschool" or "marriage" or "parenting" simply because there are so many days that I feel i may be the last person on the planet to give advice at something i'm doing so poorly at myself
I think of things to post - but then think...no...that may offend my few followers and I don't do confrontation or EVER offend people if at all possible.....but does that make me luke warm?
sigh.
see where my mind takes me? (and if you do..can you come get me? I'd like to go home!lol)
So -
in a nut shell (emphasis on the word nut)
Our family is still in crisis/survival mode and hubs is NOT any better heart health wise.
We have all gone through the stomach flu in the last two weeks and i think its making its second round (nooooo!!)
Our 17 year old is home - mystery solved! NOSY parent of his x-girlfriend totally messed with his head - told him we were brain-washing him and "oppressing" him because we did not want him to choose from a variety of religions. (oh and homeschooling - only cults do that!?) sigh. Poor thing - I felt bad for him when the truth came out. Adults need to keep their stupid opinions to themselves - and work on their own kids!!!
Our daughter has a new job that she seems to like - this is good. still living with the guy we don't approve of. that's not good.
She believes we'll grow to love him - it's hard to explain that the way they are handling things even now will make that difficult at best!
Our family business is okay. trying to keep up with Dave still being sick..
My work is okay. Thank you God for the bi-weekly pay checks!
May be facing a move soon. Paying more than we can afford for rent. :( We've been there 5 years. Truly feels like home - but we MUST make good financial decisions.
to move would be a good one - not an easy one - but a good one all the same.
Pray for us on that one!
I have "met" some great new people through blog-land lately - and their encouragment and a simple "been there, done that, survived it!" has been SO meaningful!
Seriously - I don't comment on EVERYONES blog I read - but if you're here - please consider leaving a comment - it's so lovely to hear from you!!

So - that's the wishes & fishes post!
We start little league baseball with two of the littles tonight. Busy Busy! :)

Thanks for "listening" ie.reading...
With all my heart -
Michelle

and on we go.....

Well - my husband is home from the Hospital - that is good news!
The bad news is he really isn't any better - and they have no idea whats causing his issues! (so they sent him home to feel terrible there!)
I was running late this morning - and he had to take the kids over to a friends house to watch them for a few hours - and just that task (which...yes they can be a handful lol) exhausted him. By 9am he was wiped out!
(he had gone to bed last night at 6:30pm and slept until 7am this morning - so it's not lack of sleep!)
I don't know what to do.
I don't know how to help. :(
Someone asked if it was nerves or stress - NO!
He is the person who takes everything in stride...
I am the one who gets stressed! (like um...NOW!)
I am planning on shoveling vitamins into him like nobodys business - until something works!
I have a herb blend called "heart health smoothie" from the Bulk Herb Store
I just want something to work.
I want him to feel better.
With all the craziness with our teen/adult children lately - I want to start anew.
I want to start making plans to go in a totally new direction.
I want to throttle them (did I say that out loud?) :)
I want to move to Alaska and be off the grid (okay...I'm a florid kid..maybe Alaska is a bit out of my temperature league)
Maybe move to North Florida? lol

Thank you all for listening to me vent.
Through this craziness I have "met" some great new friends via the web!
Gotta look for the positives :)

With all my heart -
Michelle

Adding insult to injury...

Well - My husband is home. He is not better, he is home though.
He is running at about 60%. I feel so badly for him - as he has so many things going on right now and people are understanding, but not really when it comes to what they want. (jobs that have to be caught up)(and even if they understand...they don't pay!)

Now add to that - our 17 year old decided to "move in with a family who can give him more".

Really?

At a time when our family is in crisis?

I reminded him that he is 17 (not an adult 18) and that who ever this "mystery family" is - they are harboring a run away at this point.
So...I truly believe that is NOT helping my husbands broken heart.

Our gang has been down with the stomach flu all weekend - so we feel bad on top of bad.

I just don't see the light at the end of this tunnel.


yet.

please God - let there be a light soon.


Michelle

ICU

Just a quick update
Last Tuesday the baby sitter called concerned that our littlest (full out rambunctious TWO year old that he is) had fallen down and put his bottom teeth clear through his bottom lip.
I groaned thinking of how much I dislike going to the E.R. and worrying about all the time I would be spending there (always always takes several hours!!)
When I got him - he was fine - just a little trooper and he even thought it was hilarious that he could try to put his tongue through the hole and stick it out by his chin. UGH!! Makes me cringe just thinking about it.

As I arrived home, my husband was on the couch (this NEVER EVER HAPPENS! THIS GUY IS NON - STOP!)
I asked what was the matter and he says:

"I need to go to the Emergency Room"


Long story short -
He was in ICU from Tuesday until yesterday -
now he is in a private room.
His heart rate was over 200 beats per minute.
They have run every test you can think of.
They have said "healthy as a horse"
"No cholesterol problem"
"Beautiful heart" (which is all WONDERFUL TO HEAR)

except it's followed up by:

"We have NO idea what caused that"
So -
Malachi did NOT have to go to the E.R.
but instead we have spent the last 4 days at the hospital anyways.

Please keep my Hubs in prayer.
He DOES have a beautiful heart :)
and he REALLY needs to get home - especially if the kids are to survive!
(grrr - did you ever notice teen agers sense weakness and Prey upon it?! grrr!)

Thank you for your prayers!
With all my heart
Michelle

Amaranthine

I had never heard of this word.

It means:
Enduring for all time: ceaseless, endless, eternal, everlasting.


I was researching to see what I could call my little flea-market shop.


I came up with "Amaranthine Treasures"

Iknow.Iknow. My husband says "Why can't you come up with something EASY?"
Sorry - soooo not me :)

Most of the goodies in my shop are things (treasures) I've found at yard sales
or thrift stores that I think are just too cool to pass up! Perhaps they are a wonderful item I have found, made or just recycled!

My flier says
Amaranthine Treasures
Where Adventurers Explore and Discover!

Then I have a quote (of course...everyone who knows me knows I LOVE quotes :)

"Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen, and thinking what nobody has thought." ~Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

I made one look like a treasure map (good for guys)
and one is on beautiful paper with roses and butterflies. (see pic..it's blurry cause I took it with my cell phone...but there ya go :)


So....we shall see - this is our first weekend opening.


I'll keep ya posted :)

~With all my heart~
Michelle

growing up and going away

Our children learning and growing is a wonderful thing to watch.
But what happens when your children go FAR away from your family beliefs.
Do YOU have an older teenager or adult who seems to be trying one avenue after another just to disappoint you?
Boy I do!
Do YOU want to shake them and tell them they are doing WAY more damage to themselves than they ever could do to you?
Boy I do!
Do YOU....oh well - if you do...then you know what I mean without me going into any more of a rant.
So...since I have two (EDIT>>>THREE) adult children who are sadly trying to do everything the hard way or the destructive way - what advice, if any, do I have?
RUN NOW
no just kidding ;)
A very good friend once told me
"As loving parents we are to provide them what they NEED - NOT what they WANT"
Like toddlers - they feel they are the center of the universe.
So, much like a parent of a toddler - there are times when a "time out" is needed.
When a little distance is good.
Time for re-evaluation.
After all.....no one said parenting was easy!
With all my heart -
Michelle

EDIT: I have 3 adult children who seem to want to put me into an early grave.
Someone told me I "brought it on myself" having so many kids.
Really?
Cause at this point if it weren't for the other 3 that I still have SOME hope for....I think I'd start walking and go till I fell off the edge of this flat earth.
;( with many tears and all my heart.Michelle

frozen

I can distinctly remember a time with each kid. with each baby. at various times thinking "freeze". willing myself to etch the moment into my forgetful brain. i know i did.
frozen into my memory are blurry images that have now no solid lines between one child to the next. sweet nursing babies. smiles. baby kisses. soft chubby cheeks. little hands reaching up to hold mine.tickling whispery whispers of little mouths at my ear. proud smiles at a job well done.
tiny voices singing their version of a song.
laughter calling me outside to watch their latest..often dangerous..adventure.
their snuggles under the blankets on cold mornings.
their wide eyed wonder over something as everyday.. as.. pancakes.
Some of these moments are long past.
Some of these are NOW.
My heart longs to keep each and every moment LOCKED in my brain.
My heart echoes out
Freeze.


linking up with Just write

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012!! Recap - and LIST ;)

Well - I look back on 2011 and think "Whew! Made it!" :)

I thought I could go month by month and post something witty or important that happened.

I know in
January my baby boy turned 1...
February - we took our family vacation and went to see SNOW (HUGE deal for us South Floridians)
March - survive & Work
April - begin morning sickness
May - turn 41 (me)
June - hubby and daughter take mission trip... Grandbaby #1 turns 2
July - miscarry - try to pretend to survive
August - daughter turns 20 son turns 25 son turns 11
September - son turns 17 football season madness begins
October - survive & work - Daughter moves out
November - son turns 8 hubby turns 42
December - Grandbaby #2 turns 1

And of course survive & work were in each and every month :)
But i guess this is how i see my year. Not really witty. sorry.
bit of a bummer i suppose.
I really thought we'd be making another "big announcement" by now. but not yet. I am comitted to becoming HEALTHY this year - and feel that may be a LOT of the issue.
My heart will be a bit sad the next couple weeks as we breeze through when WOULD have been the due date....
I'm sure glad GOD has the big picture - and "works all things together for good".
I can honestly say without my faith in that - it would have seemed HOPELESS.

some of my goals for this year:

Take a course on song-writing

Stay comitted to healthy eating and exercise (not just "New Years talk!!")

Take the vitamins I have in my cubbord (lol - I order them...then forget to take them!)

work on a childrens book about where we live

mail out REAL letters again (started a few months ago...got lost in the shuffle)

Blog more consistantly. I know I don't post anything fabulous....but MAYBE something I have to say will resonate with someone :)

So - I too am a list maker - Here's to a wonderful bright new year full of promise and possibilities!

WITH ALL MY HEART -

MICHELLE