I gave this as my 10th ToastMasters speech last night. I heard a lot of people laughing - thinking I must be exagerating. Sadly - I was not. I'm confident that a lot of you out there can relate.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I became somewhat obsessed a year or so ago with....Finding Ideal "One wife/mother’s journey to live the ideal life" The basis for my obsession goal...was this….. If I set up the "habit" of living the ideal lifestyle - striving for the “ideal” life - what would happen? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So I set out to review: A. What do I think the ideal mother/wife does? (acts, accomplishes) B. What do others think the ideal m/w does? C. What does my family think the ideal m/w would be like? D. How to incorporate my ideals and my family’s Ideals together to become...well...IDEAL ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It all "SIMPLY" boiled down to this -My Theory of Ideal - Super early riser 5am would be best. Wake up happy—relaxed—no need to rush! Have personal time *devotions, learn a foreign language—with Rosetta Stone, spend some time Singing, and practice my Writing each day without fail.* Be a Runner or Gym member have a goal to run a 1/2 marathon before I’m just too old. Prepare Breakfast for the family (even if night before) Be Prepared for the day (Clothes, shoes, accessories etc.) Spend one on one time with each child (even if each child is scheduled a day a week for QUALITY time) Know exactly what the day should hold by way of schedules, menus, events & extras. Run a load of laundry at the start of each morning and map out the day for when I am not there. “List” 1 item each day (ebay, amazon, craigslist) for “family cash” Set goals (budgets) for things important to the family and individually. *Vehicle * Vacation etc. Do something to improve myself each week - set personal goals. Make sure to schedule personal growth. Each evening set out clothing & shoes for the next day (accessories) pack the diaper bag! Pre-Set the table for Breakfast (as breakfast should be promptly at 6am) Pre-make lunches for the next day Intentionally design time for: Date night Grocery Shopping what I like to call“Business Baseball” (making sure all the bases are covered with the family business) Set aside time and money to work on physical maintenance aspects including hair, makeup, nails Have “command station” set up and fully functional. This would be a set area of the house where each child’s individual schedule and “stuff” is neatly kept. Each week go through an area of the home and “bless” someone else with the “extra stuff” allowing the home to become lower maintenance and stress free. Set aside money and ideas on home up-keep. Have a running list or notebook of items needing attention, and systematically work on them. Have a schedule of set appointments for my children - Health dental or eye exams as provided by insurance. KNOW my insurance benefits. Have time set in stone to spend with friends and family. Be very conscious of what I eat and drink. Keep records to maintain weight goals. Take bi-weekly photos and measurements along with weigh-ins. Prepare meal plans according to coupon supplies and provide extras stored up by shopping fabulous deals. Maintain a 6 month stock supply incase of emergency situation. Be totally crafty, making things from scratch whenever possible. Spend time volunteering—making sure that our legacy goes beyond our borders—helping others. Assist with the family business. Do all billing, payroll, accounting, proposals, banking and fire fighting (as anyone who has had a business knows...a substansial amount of time is spent on putting out fires. Have a career. Maintains a secure income—provides insurance—Life, health, dental & vision. Along with a steady check weekly or bi-weekly. Hostesses. Throw parties—dinner, birthday, holidays too. Homeschool our children—preparing curriculum, keeping records, encouraging our children to reach and grow. When un available for homeschooling—schedule time in each child’s classroom/school to maintain a presence in their education. Have all holiday shopping done well in advance. Find just that perfect something for each family member or friend. Have all items wrapped (preferably with home-made wrap and bows) packaged and mailed ON TIME. Send out holiday cards—not just Christmas mind you—oh no—Halloween—Thanksgiving—Easter—Valentines day and oh so many others! Not only for the family but also for the business! Have pen-pals that I write to weekly. Maintaining friendships long-distance. Maintain a blog with at least 1 post a week. More if possible. This was just the beginning of my list. The very tip of the iceberg if you will—and I began to feel more and more like the titanic. I actually began to comment to people about how I was failing miserably at so many things in my life—I just wasn’t sure I was surviving. The way I made myself a little more miserable was to go on pinterest—and see all the other fabulous things I should be doing/cooking/cleaning/organizing/crafting/wearing. I’ll be totally honest with you—I never asked anyone else their version of Ideal—I couldn’t imagine living up to my OWN expectations—I just couldn’t bring myself to add anyone elses! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I realized it was time to stop. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How many years had I allowed these many many “ideals” control my life? This was really the first time I had written them down (and trust me—this is not the entire list!!) For how long had I fought depression and the feeling that I was just not good enough—just because I had made up all these rules for myself!!?? I had all these rules that I was failing at—and no one was enforcing them but me! What was the bottom line? What truly mattered? If I found out tomorrow that I only had a short time left in my life….. What “ideals” then would I be concerned with? These: Did I spend enough time loving my kids and husband? Did I show love to the people I came in contact with? Did I show them respect—no matter who they were or what their situation was? Did I let my kids know that life is sooooooo much more than never living up to unrealistic expectations?! Would my kids remember me laughing/singing/playing with them instead of always being just too busy? So— I challenge you to find your ideals—I don’t encourage you to make a list 10 pages long. I challenge you to look inside your self— deep in your heart and think on what TRULY matters.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Then and only then—you will have found your ideal!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * I'm sorry it all ran together like that - I haven't figured out how to leave spaces - even though I typed it up with spaces - they don't transfer over when I actually post. Hmmmmm...something to ponder :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ May you be totally blessed. ~ Much love ~ With all my heart Michelle