I gave this as my 10th ToastMasters speech last night. I heard a lot of people laughing - thinking I must be exagerating. Sadly - I was not. I'm confident that a lot of you out there can relate.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I became somewhat obsessed a year or so ago with....Finding Ideal "One wife/mother’s journey to live the ideal life" The basis for my obsession goal...was this….. If I set up the "habit" of living the ideal lifestyle - striving for the “ideal” life - what would happen? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So I set out to review: A. What do I think the ideal mother/wife does? (acts, accomplishes) B. What do others think the ideal m/w does? C. What does my family think the ideal m/w would be like? D. How to incorporate my ideals and my family’s Ideals together to become...well...IDEAL ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It all "SIMPLY" boiled down to this -My Theory of Ideal - Super early riser 5am would be best. Wake up happy—relaxed—no need to rush! Have personal time *devotions, learn a foreign language—with Rosetta Stone, spend some time Singing, and practice my Writing each day without fail.* Be a Runner or Gym member have a goal to run a 1/2 marathon before I’m just too old. Prepare Breakfast for the family (even if night before) Be Prepared for the day (Clothes, shoes, accessories etc.) Spend one on one time with each child (even if each child is scheduled a day a week for QUALITY time) Know exactly what the day should hold by way of schedules, menus, events & extras. Run a load of laundry at the start of each morning and map out the day for when I am not there. “List” 1 item each day (ebay, amazon, craigslist) for “family cash” Set goals (budgets) for things important to the family and individually. *Vehicle * Vacation etc. Do something to improve myself each week - set personal goals. Make sure to schedule personal growth. Each evening set out clothing & shoes for the next day (accessories) pack the diaper bag! Pre-Set the table for Breakfast (as breakfast should be promptly at 6am) Pre-make lunches for the next day Intentionally design time for: Date night Grocery Shopping what I like to call“Business Baseball” (making sure all the bases are covered with the family business) Set aside time and money to work on physical maintenance aspects including hair, makeup, nails Have “command station” set up and fully functional. This would be a set area of the house where each child’s individual schedule and “stuff” is neatly kept. Each week go through an area of the home and “bless” someone else with the “extra stuff” allowing the home to become lower maintenance and stress free. Set aside money and ideas on home up-keep. Have a running list or notebook of items needing attention, and systematically work on them. Have a schedule of set appointments for my children - Health dental or eye exams as provided by insurance. KNOW my insurance benefits. Have time set in stone to spend with friends and family. Be very conscious of what I eat and drink. Keep records to maintain weight goals. Take bi-weekly photos and measurements along with weigh-ins. Prepare meal plans according to coupon supplies and provide extras stored up by shopping fabulous deals. Maintain a 6 month stock supply incase of emergency situation. Be totally crafty, making things from scratch whenever possible. Spend time volunteering—making sure that our legacy goes beyond our borders—helping others. Assist with the family business. Do all billing, payroll, accounting, proposals, banking and fire fighting (as anyone who has had a business knows...a substansial amount of time is spent on putting out fires. Have a career. Maintains a secure income—provides insurance—Life, health, dental & vision. Along with a steady check weekly or bi-weekly. Hostesses. Throw parties—dinner, birthday, holidays too. Homeschool our children—preparing curriculum, keeping records, encouraging our children to reach and grow. When un available for homeschooling—schedule time in each child’s classroom/school to maintain a presence in their education. Have all holiday shopping done well in advance. Find just that perfect something for each family member or friend. Have all items wrapped (preferably with home-made wrap and bows) packaged and mailed ON TIME. Send out holiday cards—not just Christmas mind you—oh no—Halloween—Thanksgiving—Easter—Valentines day and oh so many others! Not only for the family but also for the business! Have pen-pals that I write to weekly. Maintaining friendships long-distance. Maintain a blog with at least 1 post a week. More if possible. This was just the beginning of my list. The very tip of the iceberg if you will—and I began to feel more and more like the titanic. I actually began to comment to people about how I was failing miserably at so many things in my life—I just wasn’t sure I was surviving. The way I made myself a little more miserable was to go on pinterest—and see all the other fabulous things I should be doing/cooking/cleaning/organizing/crafting/wearing. I’ll be totally honest with you—I never asked anyone else their version of Ideal—I couldn’t imagine living up to my OWN expectations—I just couldn’t bring myself to add anyone elses! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I realized it was time to stop. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How many years had I allowed these many many “ideals” control my life? This was really the first time I had written them down (and trust me—this is not the entire list!!) For how long had I fought depression and the feeling that I was just not good enough—just because I had made up all these rules for myself!!?? I had all these rules that I was failing at—and no one was enforcing them but me! What was the bottom line? What truly mattered? If I found out tomorrow that I only had a short time left in my life….. What “ideals” then would I be concerned with? These: Did I spend enough time loving my kids and husband? Did I show love to the people I came in contact with? Did I show them respect—no matter who they were or what their situation was? Did I let my kids know that life is sooooooo much more than never living up to unrealistic expectations?! Would my kids remember me laughing/singing/playing with them instead of always being just too busy? So— I challenge you to find your ideals—I don’t encourage you to make a list 10 pages long. I challenge you to look inside your self— deep in your heart and think on what TRULY matters.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Then and only then—you will have found your ideal!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * I'm sorry it all ran together like that - I haven't figured out how to leave spaces - even though I typed it up with spaces - they don't transfer over when I actually post. Hmmmmm...something to ponder :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ May you be totally blessed. ~ Much love ~ With all my heart Michelle

A letter from mom.

this is a letter I wrote today to my oldest son. Please keep us in your prayers! M Well – Where do I begin? Your brother has recently gotten into some trouble. You'd think he would have learned first hand to say far far away from trouble. I wish you were here to talk to him. I love you. He needs someone out here who can tell him first hand that this is not the road he wants to travel down. He needs someone to be honest and say “I’ve been there and it sucks” All I can hope for him is that this is the worlds greatest wake up call ever. EVER. We’re all shell shocked feeling. The little boys are teary-eyed as are we. They don’t understand. Hell, we don’t understand to be honest. It’s like having a reoccurring bad dream. It’s so hard to love someone as much as our kids – and see them making their life so hard. We want MORE for our kids. We want sunshine and happiness and merry-go-rounds. Not dark grimy parts to their life story. I know it’s what makes us truly who we are – the tough times we survive. But parents ache as much if not more. Guess it’s just the other side to that coin of getting all those hugs and kisses from sweet babies. You get all full on smiles and giggles – and then you have to keep that in the front of you minds when you are watching them do difficult things. When they are making their mistakes and learning things the hard way. The hard way sucks. It’s not that we want to keep you from having fun – it’s that we know that although you are free to make your own choices – you still have to live with the consiquences of those choices. It’s excrutiating to love someone so much. To have held their hand while they learned to walk, cheered them on when they rode bikes (or God forbid jumped off shed roofs into apple trees)…..sat up nights praying their fever would come down when they were sick…fed them the best you could….loved them always….and watch them hurt themselves. I guess it’s a part of growing up – of learning who you are – but believe me – it’s no easier on the parent! After years of trying to keep someone safe, it’s so very hard to let them go. Hoping and praying that it’s all going to be Okay. Hoping and praying. And loving them. ~ALWAYS~

Pre-school

Well my 2 year old started pre-school today. I haven't gotten any phone calls so I guess that's good?! He was so much better at letting go than I was. He was immediately impressed by the classroom and a little boy who clearly wanted to be his friend. sniff! I wish I could be more places at once. I AM working on a plan to be able to be back home some day (hopefully soon) but until then - I have to pray alot and keep busy so the time passes quickly and I get to go pick him up :) Maybe he's just toooooo sporty :) Can't wait for 5 oclock! This being a mama stuff is NOT easy! :) Thanks for listening ;) Thanks for praying!

Seasons & decisions

Do you ever feel lost? I'm sure someone out there does.... That's kinda where I am right now. I wish I had someone to talk to.. Do you have days where you think...I'm wasting my life?! - not wasting on family but wasting at a 40hr work week? Do you worry that you were meant for bigger things...and then worry that you WERENT meant for bigger things? Do you have too many things going on - and yet still think about all the "shoulda woulda coulda" things that are falling by the wayside? I don't know if anyone is still out there reading this blog anymore - it's just kinda like therapy to type it all out. Our family babysitter has decided to take the summer off. I know this is not LIFE OR DEATH. but it's a bit of a tailspin for our gang... The only option I've come up with in 3 weeks of searching is daycare. I get sick at the thought of day care. sick. I know that anytime my kiddos have ever been in daycare they've had fun. They've played and made little friends - but yet I still cringe at the time I feel LOST holding and cuddling and teaching and loving......:( I don't judge ANYONE by whether they love or hate daycare. I know that each family has a different situation - a different season that they are in. :( This is the season we are in. I just feel a little broken. a little teary. and like each and every day of my life... I hope I'm making GOOD MAMA decisions. That those are the ones that will be remembered. Not all the LOUSY ones I KNOW I've made ;(

THE GOOFY PICTURE!

I don't have a lot of "THE OTHER PICTURES" on my computer at work - I LOVE the link up and I'll now start looking for those pictures that don't make the cut - but this one was one we all laughed over like crazy - The boys had all gotten candy that had "bling" gold teeth on the front of it and they were all acting like they were tough with their arms crossed and heads bobbing - when Snap got one and looked like this: We howled. Kinda looks like he should be saying DURRRRRR!

Linking up HERE with Lynette Kraft! Make sure to check her blog out! You won't be disappointed :) Happy Friday gang! SMILE LOTS!!! With all my heart~ Michelle

Useless yet fascinating(?) facts all about me :)

I bet you didn't know that I have one of these annoying animals peck at my office door for HOURS at a time! It's mirrored and the males like to fight with each other! Dumb Dumb I mean...lovely animals!!................................................................................................................................... I finally printed out this picture and hung it there to deter him! Now he stands off a bit and YEOLPS real loud - like he'd LIKE to fight...but he's just not sure (they are my least favorite animal! lol) But because I have the picture out there - people like to bring me peacock feathers! (they think I LOVE them...lol...I can't bring myself to tell them I had a running joke with the other employees in our office that if I didn't get a good Thanksgiving turkey last year...I'd just get a Thanksgiving Peacock!) So I arrive each morning and have a good chuckle to myself as I look at a whole vase full of peacock feathers - given in love - hope they never see me out grumbling at the birds in the parkinglot! :)..........................................................................................................................................

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................... this is NOT my picture - it's beautiful though huh? It's more like where we are moving to than where we live now! The "new" house (small mobile home actually) you can stand at the front of it and see the ocean - so that's somthing huh?! :) We're looking forward to actually enjoying where we live....since we live in a vacation spot - and can hardly ever vacation ourselves! :) .............................................................................................................................................................................................................

............................................................................................................................................................................................ I am actually starting one of these! ........................................................................................................................................... I've gone so far as to get the gutters and the dirt! As we get moved in...I will start working on this too - and let you know how it goes! :).............................................................................................. My yard has the following (and I am SOOOOO excited about it!) Banana Trees.............. Papaya Trees............... Plantain Trees................ Barbados Cherries.................. Pomegranates.................. Chaya (Mexican Spinach)................. Pineapples................... Key Lime tree.................... Coffee trees.................. Cinnamon tree..................... Guava Tree................... Coconut palm..................... Star-fruit tree......................................... stevia :) looks like a weed really - and takes over a planter area like one too! (0bviously I'm not into plants for looks! If they don't give me something I can use...I'll switch em out for something that does!) ............................................................................... I also had a couple tea plants - but they didn't make the move :( little dead sticks in the ground ;( Will have to replace those someday soon. ......................................................................... anyways....someday I'll be able to make a killer fruit salad huh?! :) maybe with a little cinnamon coffee on the side? lol -we'll see!

Directions Directions!

Do you ever sit back and think...WOW I am going in too many directions?!?
I sure do!
I mean....I blog (occasionally at best... I know)
I am packing...
we host an organic co-op every other week and box up "shares" of produce for others...
we have 2 boys in little league right now - which means practice 3 days a week (in different locations) and games at least once a week (usually taking up all day Saturday...in different locations also!)
We have a family business..
I go to ToastMasters..
We have a toddler - that in itself is beyond full time work :)
I LOVE to sing - so I do that whenever I get the chance...
Along with all this...i try to list things on ebay and craigslist when i can...
i work a full time 40 hour week outside the home....
and then I heap trouble on myself by looking at pinterest and WISHING I could do like a billion craft ideas ;) lol
I KNOW I don't have more commitments than others...you're probably thinking right now "THAT'S IT?" - but shoot...we're all going in 1000 different directions these days right?!?!
So...back to my original question -
Do you ever sit back and think...WOW I am going in too many directions?!?
I sure do!
:)
Michelle