About Me

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I am a momma of 6 :) I have one grand-daughter who is 2 and a half and one who is 9 months!!...my youngest son is 6 months younger than the older one and 1 year older than the baby :) We homeschool and we are always on the go! I like to joke and say we are "addicted to chaos"! Long story short - we are parents of kiddos every age imaginable (almost) and like everyone else...We're learning as we go along! Thank the Lord...He's forgiving and LOVING - 'cause we're truly undeserving of all the wonderful gifts He's given to us!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

A letter from mom.

this is a letter I wrote today to my oldest son. Please keep us in your prayers! M Well – Where do I begin? Your brother has recently gotten into some trouble. You'd think he would have learned first hand to say far far away from trouble. I wish you were here to talk to him. I love you. He needs someone out here who can tell him first hand that this is not the road he wants to travel down. He needs someone to be honest and say “I’ve been there and it sucks” All I can hope for him is that this is the worlds greatest wake up call ever. EVER. We’re all shell shocked feeling. The little boys are teary-eyed as are we. They don’t understand. Hell, we don’t understand to be honest. It’s like having a reoccurring bad dream. It’s so hard to love someone as much as our kids – and see them making their life so hard. We want MORE for our kids. We want sunshine and happiness and merry-go-rounds. Not dark grimy parts to their life story. I know it’s what makes us truly who we are – the tough times we survive. But parents ache as much if not more. Guess it’s just the other side to that coin of getting all those hugs and kisses from sweet babies. You get all full on smiles and giggles – and then you have to keep that in the front of you minds when you are watching them do difficult things. When they are making their mistakes and learning things the hard way. The hard way sucks. It’s not that we want to keep you from having fun – it’s that we know that although you are free to make your own choices – you still have to live with the consiquences of those choices. It’s excrutiating to love someone so much. To have held their hand while they learned to walk, cheered them on when they rode bikes (or God forbid jumped off shed roofs into apple trees)…..sat up nights praying their fever would come down when they were sick…fed them the best you could….loved them always….and watch them hurt themselves. I guess it’s a part of growing up – of learning who you are – but believe me – it’s no easier on the parent! After years of trying to keep someone safe, it’s so very hard to let them go. Hoping and praying that it’s all going to be Okay. Hoping and praying. And loving them. ~ALWAYS~


  1. praying God does a great work in your sons' lives ...

  2. I truly understand.

    So hard. So sorry.

    We are in the midst of the most unbelievably difficult journey with 3 of our young adult children and their spouses. Absolutely heartbreaking.


  3. Michelle,
    Just know that you're not alone in your struggles with your children. The enemy would want you to think that you are the only one with kiddos who do dumb things. That there's something wrong with you that they would turn out as they have. That if you had done things "better" or differently everything would be "happily ever after". Sigh. Why we mommas end up with those stubborn children who only seem to learn life's lessons from the school of hard knocks (sometimes flunking a few grades!!!) is beyond me. I mean it's not like I was ever like that... In my case I have to watch my children make my own most regretted mistakes and feel the same hurt that my parents felt (and no, the pregnancy at 14 and marriage at 15 isn't on that list!). My heart is torn and all I can do is pray that someday they will see the error of their ways and that I will have a soft enough heart to let them back in. Praying that you will feel the Lord's peace in the midst of your storm!!! <3

  4. Hey Michelle ... It's been a long time since I heard something from you ... I hope you and the family are ok??!

    Not sure if you are still reading blogs, but I wanted to tell you I've moved mine to:

    Saying a prayer for you! Conny