About Me

My photo
I am a momma of 6 :) I have one grand-daughter who is 2 and a half and one who is 9 months!!...my youngest son is 6 months younger than the older one and 1 year older than the baby :) We homeschool and we are always on the go! I like to joke and say we are "addicted to chaos"! Long story short - we are parents of kiddos every age imaginable (almost) and like everyone else...We're learning as we go along! Thank the Lord...He's forgiving and LOVING - 'cause we're truly undeserving of all the wonderful gifts He's given to us!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Just write - the third

I sit at my keyboard wondering how the typing has gotten so loud in the last hour or so.
one word.


my teeth ache
my eyes ache
it makes me nauseaous to swallow or breathe or move.

my mind feels like molasses...I try to remember all the things I'm supposed to be doing.
coffee may help. then again...it may not.
bc powders usually help...do I have any with me?
where is my purse?
why is my purse so difficult to find anything in?
i should clean it out.
i should clean out my car and house too...but it won't happen today that's for sure...
how do some women "do it all" ??
i wonder if they get migraines - those perfect super women...the organized happy "I love to clean the house" types.
do they have days like this?
the "hey it's cereal for breakfast..and maybe cereal again for dinner!" kind of days
(as long as said cereal bag doesn't crinkle so loudly?)
how long till my break is over....?
maybe I could sleep for 10 minutes...would I feel better or would it only make me that "I just tried to sleep for 10 minutes and now I feel MUCH worse" kind of crabby?

linking up at Just write

Monday, September 26, 2011

Please pray

My grand babies had what they're calling an "accident".
They were unattended (babysitters were evidently sleeping or passed out)and they somehow managed to pull a dresser over ontop of themselves (HUGE 6' solid wood dresser)
the older one (2) only had a bloody lip and a huge bump on her head (no concussion)
The younger (9mo) has 4 broken ribs and contusions on her lungs with some air behind her lung.
She is in ICU
Please pray for her.
Please pray for me. I need either prayer or bail money (just kidding of course)
I AM furious.
Thank you in advance for your prayers for Jazmine :(

************EDITED******************** TO ADD NEW NEWS!
Emergency surgery was done yesterday to put in a 2" tube through her back to drain excess fluid that had built up around the lungs.
She will be in ICU for this week and then will go into a regular hospital room for a few more weeks of observation.
She is receiving morphine for pain and is not allowed to be held (!!)as a baby that's all she wants!! :(
Please keep up in your prayers!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

this too....

i wake after a long night of cuddling and calming and singing and baby tylenol doses. i wake to find that sleeping (little) and holding (lots) have left my nerves pinched in my neck and looking left is not an option (at least for today). pinched nerves and raw nerves may be the order of the day. i am at work (a blessing that does not feel like a blessing today)i want to be home with my little sickie boy. i can hear the traffic behind my head outside my office window and i am longing to be in one of those vehicles. headed north. headed home.
i will be - soon. i know that the saying "this too shall pass" is not only about the sickness, but also about the "mama anxiety" that comes along with it. i will take my coffee break and slowly sip my morning energy..begin to focus on the beauty of the day. the joy that comes in the morning. the blessings that we must be thankful for even when we don't want to be. i will feel the sun's rays beaming in my office window and give thanks. i guess if i can't look left - at least i can keep "looking up" :)

i'm linking up today over at: http://extraordinary-ordinary.net/

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Clock

The ticking of the clock on the wall is only really there when I choose to hear it. Although it is always in the background, it only annoys me when I allow it to. Oftentimes I just ignore it. Pushing it back behind the constant hum of the cars rolling by outside my office window. Behind the click clack of my typing.
The typing feels good on my early morning fingers and I wonder if I too will have to deal with arthritis as my mama does. aging sucks. and yet i would not go back even if i could.
The ticking of yet another clock is in my mind.
I am 41 and I am sad. I have been sad for too long. For no reason.over every reason.
My life is good. My family is wonderful. My tears still flow.
3 months since the loss. I should be fine.Postpartum doesn't happen after only 3 months of pregnancy right? who knows. time clicks on.
each non-pregnant month brings me more selective hearing on the ticking. Some days i hear it. some days i ignore it. above all else I try not to think the "where would I be now if only" thoughts.....how far along...too sad...just re-focus on some hum or click clack to distract.
The clock on the wall reminds me that my break time is over. I must get back to work. Back to "reality". To deal with the day at hand. Schedules, meetings, stuff to file away.
How ironic that both clocks remind me of the exact same thing.






The above was written to link up with "Just write" over at The Extraordinary Ordinary

Why don't you join us? I think it would be lovely!
See ya over at "The EO" :)

With all my heart ~