The ticking of the clock on the wall is only really there when I choose to hear it. Although it is always in the background, it only annoys me when I allow it to. Oftentimes I just ignore it. Pushing it back behind the constant hum of the cars rolling by outside my office window. Behind the click clack of my typing.
The typing feels good on my early morning fingers and I wonder if I too will have to deal with arthritis as my mama does. aging sucks. and yet i would not go back even if i could.
The ticking of yet another clock is in my mind.
I am 41 and I am sad. I have been sad for too long. For no reason.over every reason.
My life is good. My family is wonderful. My tears still flow.
3 months since the loss. I should be fine.Postpartum doesn't happen after only 3 months of pregnancy right? who knows. time clicks on.
each non-pregnant month brings me more selective hearing on the ticking. Some days i hear it. some days i ignore it. above all else I try not to think the "where would I be now if only" thoughts.....how far along...too sad...just re-focus on some hum or click clack to distract.
The clock on the wall reminds me that my break time is over. I must get back to work. Back to "reality". To deal with the day at hand. Schedules, meetings, stuff to file away.
How ironic that both clocks remind me of the exact same thing.
The above was written to link up with "Just write" over at The Extraordinary Ordinary
Why don't you join us? I think it would be lovely!
See ya over at "The EO" :)
With all my heart ~
- Michelle G
- I am a momma of 6 :) I have one grand-daughter who is 2 and a half and one who is 9 months!!...my youngest son is 6 months younger than the older one and 1 year older than the baby :) We homeschool and we are always on the go! I like to joke and say we are "addicted to chaos"! Long story short - we are parents of kiddos every age imaginable (almost) and like everyone else...We're learning as we go along! Thank the Lord...He's forgiving and LOVING - 'cause we're truly undeserving of all the wonderful gifts He's given to us!