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I am a momma of 6 :) I have one grand-daughter who is 2 and a half and one who is 9 months!!...my youngest son is 6 months younger than the older one and 1 year older than the baby :) We homeschool and we are always on the go! I like to joke and say we are "addicted to chaos"! Long story short - we are parents of kiddos every age imaginable (almost) and like everyone else...We're learning as we go along! Thank the Lord...He's forgiving and LOVING - 'cause we're truly undeserving of all the wonderful gifts He's given to us!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Seasons & decisions

Do you ever feel lost? I'm sure someone out there does.... That's kinda where I am right now. I wish I had someone to talk to.. Do you have days where you think...I'm wasting my life?! - not wasting on family but wasting at a 40hr work week? Do you worry that you were meant for bigger things...and then worry that you WERENT meant for bigger things? Do you have too many things going on - and yet still think about all the "shoulda woulda coulda" things that are falling by the wayside? I don't know if anyone is still out there reading this blog anymore - it's just kinda like therapy to type it all out. Our family babysitter has decided to take the summer off. I know this is not LIFE OR DEATH. but it's a bit of a tailspin for our gang... The only option I've come up with in 3 weeks of searching is daycare. I get sick at the thought of day care. sick. I know that anytime my kiddos have ever been in daycare they've had fun. They've played and made little friends - but yet I still cringe at the time I feel LOST holding and cuddling and teaching and loving......:( I don't judge ANYONE by whether they love or hate daycare. I know that each family has a different situation - a different season that they are in. :( This is the season we are in. I just feel a little broken. a little teary. and like each and every day of my life... I hope I'm making GOOD MAMA decisions. That those are the ones that will be remembered. Not all the LOUSY ones I KNOW I've made ;(

4 comments:

  1. It's you have lots on your mind my dear, wish I was living closer so we could have a chat!

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  2. awwwwwww, I'm still here, reading - and I'm feeling for you too. I've definitely had times of questioning - am I doing the right things, are my kids gonna be ok, etc etc....
    I hope you'll be feeling and realizing that you ARE the best momma for your kids in this time - day care or no day care - because God gave those kids to you!! :) He trusts you - now trust yourself and rely on HIM!! :) Hope you're feeling better about life in general soon.

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  3. I'm here. I visit each time I see you've posted something. I don't have much time for blogland at his point but I know just what you mean when you say that blogging is theraputic--I feel the same way. I enjoy posting the good and happy stuff which helps me take my mind of the not so good and the unhappy. Not very balanced but I do like being able to see the good. :-)

    We did daycare for several years with my older boys. I can't say that it was a good experience--but not horrible. You just gotta do what you gotta do. I hope you find a good daycare and your little guy will do just fine. It is, after all, only for a season. :-)

    Praying that the Lord will give you strong guidance and will rain blessings down upon your family!! <3

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  4. Still here.

    Blog Therapy? You bet.

    Too much going on? Absolutely.

    So many unanswered questions? Yes.

    Keep doing what you can do ... keep seeking the Lord for wisdom ... keep loving those kids, every minute that they are with you.

    Hugs & Prayers from a Mama who understands. (While not working full time right now, I have "been there, done that" (with a couple of young ones in preschool while I worked).

    Pop me an email if you want to chat. I have a pretty good listening ear, and I love to support, encourage, and pray for my Bloggy Friends.


    Laurel

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