About Me

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I am a momma of 6 :) I have one grand-daughter who is 2 and a half and one who is 9 months!!...my youngest son is 6 months younger than the older one and 1 year older than the baby :) We homeschool and we are always on the go! I like to joke and say we are "addicted to chaos"! Long story short - we are parents of kiddos every age imaginable (almost) and like everyone else...We're learning as we go along! Thank the Lord...He's forgiving and LOVING - 'cause we're truly undeserving of all the wonderful gifts He's given to us!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

It's that time of year again..............it's a super fast slide right into the Holidays........
I always get to this time of the year and the war begins.
The war between who I am and who I feel I should be.
Maybe even "who I wish I was" joins in a bit...
This...I can tell you... causes many sleepless nights.
Many very tired mornings.
Maybe it's because my memory is so/so...but with MAJOR events like Holidays - I have linked memories of the kids....the home....the traditions...
I feel like I am running in 100 different directions at once - and yet I feel soooo guilty for not adding to it. There are SOOOO many things I'm just NOT accomplishing and really should be.
Yet I don't even know how to accomplish what i am already "signed up for".
I woke this morning with the feeling that you just can't plan ahead.
I KNOW where this feeling is rooted.....
we were supposed to go to a great aunt's 100th birthday party this Saturday.....
she died yesterday.
My first reaction was "why would they plan a 100th birthday party MONTHS in advance....why didn't they celebrate RIGHT AWAY?" Life's too short (even at 99.9 years old!) why didn't we just have a party for her at 99?

The time to hug is now.
The time to love is now.
The time for dinners and laughter and family time and holding hands and good times is NOW.
Because really - who knows where we'll be tomorrow?

How bout you? do you have a war going on? maybe just a small conflict?

I'd love to hear about it!

~with all my heart~

1 comment:

  1. I know exactly what you mean!! I'm still mourning over the fact that Halloween blew by while we were in a crisis situation with our dog and an allergic reaction--a vet visit, worry, a whole day spent not doing the things that I wanted to do!! OK so most of it was my fault for waiting until the last minute. :-P Sigh. When I finally got home, got dinner organized and popped into the little local supermarket for some cupcakes (no time to make my own!) and proceded to fall asleep from stress in the middle of our first Halloween cartoon! And I wonder how the rest of the holiday slide will go. Want so much to be there fully and make a gazillion memories and shrug off the past failures! I tend to wait for everything--big time. I'm mourning school projects that we never got around to because I was waiting for the "perfect moment". I'm mourning opportunities missed because I was busy putting out fires. I've been working on a post in my head about this very topic. So hard to balance all of the things that we need to do, want to do, dream of doing, others expect us to do and are forced to do. Sigh.

    A visit, some herbal tea and apple cake sound absolutely wonderful. :-)

    Blessings sweetie!! <3