About Me

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I am a momma of 6 :) I have one grand-daughter who is 2 and a half and one who is 9 months!!...my youngest son is 6 months younger than the older one and 1 year older than the baby :) We homeschool and we are always on the go! I like to joke and say we are "addicted to chaos"! Long story short - we are parents of kiddos every age imaginable (almost) and like everyone else...We're learning as we go along! Thank the Lord...He's forgiving and LOVING - 'cause we're truly undeserving of all the wonderful gifts He's given to us!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

questions and more questions....

Today I was honored to be presented with an award by the County Comissioners. My kids were excited that it was going to be on TV. 4 of my kiddos attended the meeting to clap and take pictures of "momma" getting something to hang on her wall.
It was all over within a matter of minutes.
I remember looking out into the auditorium and smiling as my little ones smiled back and waved their arms (as if I could miss them ;)
I know that my job is a blessing.
I know beyond all doubt that God provided this job - one where I can help others - one where my boss and good friend shares and supports my faith.

But between you and I
Between the cyberspace and my heart...
Is this really it?

Am I destined to be on this side of the auditorium when I long to be WITH the wavers and clappers?

I am not ungreatful for the blessing of provision that this job provides. I KNOW that the economy is such that I should DANCE all the way to work each day......

But is this it?
Will I look back some day at the marks of time by the "recognition of _______ years of service?"

Will I wake up one day knowing that the ONLY thing I did right in this life was have wonderful babies and a dear hubby - and it will be too late? They will be off with lives of their own? All the things I wanted to pass along to them...all the things they need to know....all the lessons - all the verses I want to share...will it just be too late?

How can getting an award ruin my day?

with all my heart~

Please - if you've been here, stop on over at:
holy experience

It's such a beautiful place to visit with good friends


  1. i am just reminded of mordechai's words to eshter, for sucha time as this? i got a sense from your last post that you help people in your job. what a blessing.
    there are days i ask all the same questions about my own job as stay at home mama... but i know that i am here for a time and purpose and it is a joy.

  2. Oh, this makes me want to cry for you, but I truly believe that you know in your heart what is best for the right now, and someday you will look back and know, and be able to be proud, knowing how you did what was right back then. :) Congrats and hugs to you!